The Secret to a Successful Negotiation Without Taking Anything Away from the Other Person

By Harv Eker

I always get asked about how to successfully negotiate without feeling like you’re taking advantage of the person you’re negotiating with.

Firstly, why is negotiating important?

Whether you realize it or not in business or in life you are always negotiating.

If you are a poor negotiator, you’ll spend a fortune.
If you are a good negotiator, you’ll save a fortune.
If you are a great negotiator, you’ll make a fortune.

Negotiation is a critical, critical skill.

Now, how do you negotiate a win-win situation?

How do you get what you want…without taking away what the other party wants?

For example, if someone wants to get more money, but I want to pay less, how do you make it work for both of us?

The problem that many people have is, they think that it’s a zero sum game. They think, “There’s one pie, so if I get fewer pieces, that means you get more.”

No. That is not how I teach the art of negotiation.

Instead of having a set number of pieces in your pie-which inevitably leads to a feeling of scarcity-you just change the pie completely. Perhaps you now have an apple pie, cheesecake, chocolate donut… basically, whatever it is you both want.

Stick with me here-I’ll explain what I mean.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Different strokes for different folks?” This saying speaks to the fact that everyone values things differently, and everyone has different beliefs about what is important (or not).

The beauty is, this means everyone can get what they want-you just need to know what it is.

It’s true: when you negotiate, the most important thing is to find out what’s important to the other party. You already know what’s important to you-so no work is needed there.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say, at your company, you’re trying to pay less for a service or product. The party in question says they will charge $1,000. You say you just want to pay $700. So what’s the action there?

Just because you said you wanted $700 doesn’t mean they have to give it to you. This is why you need to have a rationale. So instead, in your discussion, you might find out that they were burnt last time by a company that they gave 60 days credit to and-they didn’t get paid. Perhaps they’ve been burnt several times.

This is where you need to think laterally.

Instead of simply focusing on closing the price gap, you could arrange to pay the $700 immediately, as opposed to in 30 or 60 days as is standard-thereby benefitting them with a speedy payment, while still paying a lower price.

See, that’s what they want. You give them what they want, they give you what you want. It’s not about taking anything away from them (or from you).

The point is, you just need to provide them with the value they’re looking for.

It’s about being creative and adding to both your lives, instead of minus-ing. If you do, you will make-and save-a lot of money.

Simply by asking some questions first and finding out what is good for the other party, you can easily create a win-win situation for everyone involved.

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MaryEllen About MaryEllen

MaryEllen Tribby has helped thousands of people start a new business or grow their existing ones. MaryEllen is the Founder and CEO of, the world’s leading newsletter and website for the empowerment of the working mom. Prior to founding WMO, MaryEllen was Publisher & CEO of Early to Rise and President of Weiss Research where she added millions to their bottom lines in just a few months. She also ran divisions at Forbes, Times Mirror Magazines, and Crain’s New York Business. MaryEllen is the best-selling author of Reinventing the Entrepreneur: Turning Your Dream Business into a Reality and co-author (with Michael Masterson) of Changing the Channel: 12 Easy Ways to Make Millions For Your Business.